I’m always tempted to ask for other people’s opinion first, to validate my idea first. It feels good and safe, and it gives a boost of support so that when I finally act, I already have a stack of advantages behind me.
At the same time, it’s odd. It’s like asking: “Do you like my idea? Can I build this if you like it?”
Here I’m talking about ideas that suddenly possess you and reach a tipping point where you could act now. In that sense, I built Kingston NetworkBuddy because it made sense to help others who were struggling to find networking events in the city and try a first networking experience.
I didn’t ask, “Can I create a networking list of events?” because I wished someone had already done it. But I still waited for validation: if a particular person would show up, then I would go, because the stakes of looking like a fool felt too high for my ego.
What have I learned from that?
- I don’t wait for validation once I’ve reached a tipping point to act. I ask for opinions and validation after a trial period.
- Second, “and/or thinking” helps me decide more loosely; choosing only the “or” is the constraint my body reacts to the most.
- I treat almost everything as an experiment, so I don’t carry it with grudges and self‑blame.
- A part of me thinks this whole list is B.S., pretending I really know. I don’t. I’m just interpreting from my own life.
This isn’t advice; it’s just me tracing how I’m thinking it through from where I stand.
For a sharper take on why advice so often fails, see Agnes Callard’s “Against Advice” in The Point: https://thepointmag.com/examined-life/against-advice-agnes-callard/
Whooshbrain 